Dear 2019 Me,
It’s been a very mentally challenging year, hasn’t it? You spent so much time in your head, half of the time it was your fault and the other half you couldn’t help. You spent so much of this year in your thoughts that it felt like time stood still most of the time but in reality life was passing you by. Because of that there wasn’t as many eventful and major happenings but in this short year, there was so much self-realization and emotional and mental growth. You should be proud of yourself. Your strength shows.
At the start of this year you made the difficult but necessary choice to leave Australia. It was bittersweet because you would’ve stayed if you could but you couldn’t and deep down you knew your family needed you in Japan. You spent a lot of time recalling your memories from Sydney and it was hard at first because you were so scared of not knowing what would happen in Japan. But you did it. You didn’t crumble under fear, you didn’t backtrack from the uncertain future, and you didn’t doubt your ability to persevere. Good for you because, hey, the once “uncertain future” in Japan is now your present and you’re killing it!
Thailand was fun, even if it was just for a short time. After all, it is home. It was kind of bittersweet, as it seemed like all your friends were moving along in life and you had just gotten yourself back after the two years lost in 2016-2017. But it’s okay, friends will move along life but they will never move on from you. Just trust and believe in them and your friendships. Don’t let unnecessary doubt ruin something so precious.
Then came Japan… it was one thing after another the moment you landed and you couldn’t really settle down as well as you wanted to. You put everyone first when it was crucial to put yourself first. There were times that couldn’t be helped; like your grandpa having to stay in the hospital for a week for tests, babysitting your nephew when he got sick, or helping your young brother move out to his new place. But other than that, in 2020 let’s try to put yourself first when you can. You got better at it once you got a full time job because you realized it was necessary if you wanted to take care of yourself and your grandpa too. But let’s try to remember to put yourself first before it gets to be a dire need.
But you’re living in the future you feared at the start of the year. You have a fulltime job in a French technology company in Japan that’s partnered with one of the world’s biggest events. Just before winter break you received great compliments from your co-workers. Be proud. You live with your grandpa and take care of him as much as you can. You guys watch sports together and you learn so much from him. He seems to enjoy your company too. Lastly, your Japanese is getting better! You are doing a good job. Be proud of what you made of your life in Japan. You are stronger than you realized but now you know your potential and just how much you can accomplish.
But in 2020, let’s focus on happiness. After all the things you accomplished in 2019, despite how proud you are you’ve begun to doubt if you are the happiest you can be. One major problem is your lack of personal life… what happened to your hobbies? Yoga? This blog? How about your friends? Why are you ghosting them so much? Don’t go missing in action on those who care about you; you guys need each other.
Remember these problems when work starts again in January. Remember to strive for happiness among your accomplishments. Work is only going to get busier next year and you’re already scared of and dreading it. As work gets busier, the need for a personal life piles up so don’t neglect yourself, your needs, and your happiness in 2020.
Read more on your kindle. Reply to your friends more. Eat more of what you want. Exercise and appreciate your body. Write more on this blog.
Your strength showed this 2019 but so did your exhaustion. In 2020, let your strength shine so you can glow.
Sincerely,
Image by K From the Mountain.
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